Archive for November, 2008

We arrived in Felton, just north of Santa Cruz, on Wednesday the 19^th and have been here for a week at the fabulous Cotillion Gardens campground under the majestic Redwood trees.  The park is surrounded by Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park, also heavily forested with Redwoods.  It has been Redwood time around here!  You can read about my inner experience in Lessons from the Redwoods on my website.

 

 

 

 

While here, we have explored Santa Cruz and found the best burritos we’ve had since leaving North Carolina (found at Tacos Moreno, where you will find a line out the door every day).  We’ve driven up the most gorgeous Pacific coastline north of Santa Cruz to Half Moon Bay, watching the windsurfers battle it out with the waves at Scotts Creek Beach (apparently a nude beach, but there weren’t any nudies when we went there!), and we have walked among the Mother and Father trees in Big Basin State park, a true wonder to behold.

 

 

 

 

The town of Felton is fairly small, population about 6500, but it has a lot going on, and as we have found in California, towns are smacked up right next to one another, rather than having lots of space between them.  So if you don’t find what you need in one town, you drive 5 minutes and you will find it in the next town!  Felton has a sweet main street with a few cool shops and restaurants, and the people are super friendly.  Many here, once hearing what our family is up to, have insisted that we move here to the Santa Cruz area.  Well, who knows?  Nothing is a done deal at this point…the mystery of how we will pull off buying property in California has not been revealed to us yet.  But it is safe to say that all four of us are still yearning to get back south to San Luis Obispo.  IN the mean time, we have enjoyed the magic of this area very much….we’ll be back!

 

 

 

 

We are headed south to Monterey for the Thanksgiving holiday to be with Peter’s family again, then we will go back to San Luis to spend some quality time getting to know the area and the people there….it felt so right while we were there, and now we are going to test those feelings and see what we come up with.  We can’t wait.

I recently had the joy of reading an unedited 2004 interview with Barack Obama, just after he had won the democratic nomination for senator of Illinois.  In the interview, he was asked very specific questions about his religious beliefs; I found it refreshing and affirming about our choice of him as our country’s next leader.  You can read that article here: http://blog.beliefnet.com/stevenwaldman/2008/11/obamas-interview-with-cathleen.html

 

Obama’s graceful words and willingness to expose himself at a deep level inspired me to reflect on my own beliefs and experience in my life.

 

As a person who has experienced being oppressed, whether due to the fact that I am female, have indigenous ancestry within my blood, or due to my beliefs not matching someone else’s, I know the pain that is caused when someone else sees you and tries to fit you in their box, and when you don’t you are belittled or discarded.  It is tempting from that place of pain to polarize, aligning yourself with a box, too, one that is comprised of your own beliefs and that negates the beliefs of others.  It is tempting to act out from that pain in the name of the box being right.  But this is just as out of balance as someone else acting out in pain from their box.  Fanaticism is fanaticism, not matter what the belief system may be.

 

One of the most basic and innate tenets that I have been aware of holding dear in my life is that of tolerance of others.  I remember being judged for my body type when I was as young as four years of age…Being called “chubby” or “fat” (I look back at pictures now and I was no such thing.).  I also attended a Christian preschool, where I listened to my teacher condemn those who did not believe as she and the church did to a fiery hell.  This never made sense to my young mind…I knew better.  I had regular direct experiences with what might be called God, and the ugliness I saw in humans was nothing like the love I experienced in those divine moments of direct communication.   It was at this young age I learned to be afraid of people and their rabid or hateful beliefs, and also learned to keep my mouth shut.

 

I am now 43 years old.  I am just learning now that keeping my mouth shut in the face of intolerance is not a good thing for me to do, primarily because it hurts me inside, but also because it gives silent permission for the person who is ranting and raving about their beliefs no opportunity to bounce against a wall, no opportunity to see the reflection of their rigidity.  It may imply that I am trying to change someone by speaking of the importance of that reflection….and perhaps that is my agenda…I would like for my children to live in a world of tolerance rather than bigotry.

 

Fanaticism comes in many forms…..certainly in the religious circles it is easy to see as the condemnation flies back and forth between the camps.  But we see it in matters of race, gender, profession, environmentalism, politics, body types….it seems virtually anything can be turned into a platform for rigid beliefs to set in, and therefore condemnation of others who may not agree.

 

Just the other night I sat at dinner with relatives who spat the word “conservative” like they had a horrid taste in their mouth.  I recoiled as I felt the venom with which this word was spoken, and later reflected silently on what the word conservative means.  I looked it up (from dictionary.com):

 

con⋅serv⋅a⋅tive

–adjective

1.	disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.

 

2.	cautiously moderate or purposefully low: a conservative estimate.

 

3.	traditional in style or manner; avoiding novelty or showiness: conservative suit.

 

4.	(often initial capital letter ) of or pertaining to the Conservative party.

 

5.	(initial capital letter ) of, pertaining to, or characteristic of Conservative Jews or Conservative Judaism.

 

6.	having the power or tendency to conserve; preservative.

 

7.	Mathematics. (of a vector or vector function) having curl equal to zero; irrotational; lamellar.

–noun

8.	a person who is conservative in principles, actions, habits, etc.

 

9.	a supporter of conservative political policies.

 

10.	(initial capital letter ) a member of a conservative political party, esp. the Conservative party in Great Britain.

 

11.	a preservative.

Origin:
1350–1400; < LL conservātīvus, equiv. to L conservāt(us) (see conservation ) + -īvus -ive; r. ME conservatif < MF < L, as above

 

 

Okay, then what does liberal mean?

 

 

lib⋅er⋅al

   /ˈlɪb ər əl, ˈlɪb rəl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [lib-er-uh l, lib-ruh l] Show IPA Pronunciation

–adjective

1.	favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.

 

2.	(often initial capital letter ) noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform.

 

3.	of, pertaining to, based on, or advocating liberalism.

 

4.	favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, esp. as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.

 

5.	favoring or permitting freedom of action, esp. with respect to matters of personal belief or expression: a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers.

 

6.	of or pertaining to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies.

 

7.	free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant: a liberal attitude toward foreigners.

 

8.	open-minded or tolerant, esp. free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc.

 

9.	characterized by generosity and willingness to give in large amounts: a liberal donor.

 

10.	given freely or abundantly; generous: a liberal donation.

 

11.	not strict or rigorous; free; not literal: a liberal interpretation of a rule.

 

12.	of, pertaining to, or based on the liberal arts.

 

13.	of, pertaining to, or befitting a freeman.

–noun

14.	a person of liberal principles or views, esp. in politics or religion.

 

15.	(often initial capital letter ) a member of a liberal party in politics, esp. of the Liberal party in Great Britain.

---

Origin:
1325–75; ME < L līberālis of freedom, befitting the free, equiv. to līber free + -ālis -al ¹

 

 

Well, I see myself in both of these…I could be construed as quite traditional in the way that I am fiercely loyal to my family of four as the backbone of my life, and my devotion to balance as what the Buddhists call the “middle road” to guide my steps.  But I am also a liberal in that I value freedom and change and have observed that being open to rather than resisting change is the way of nature…and so I am a mix of these two concepts (a hybrid as usual…sigh). 

 

It is interesting to me that people who tout themselves as liberals and defending the liberal agenda can be so rigid in their beliefs as to appear conservative!  If tolerance and preservation of individual liberties is the goal of a liberal, then does that mean that resistance to such is implied in being a conservative?  If a lack of an open mind is conservative, does that mean that a “liberal” person who spews hatred about conservatives is actually a conservative?  The circle never ends.

 

My experience teaches me that in each of us is the blueprint for All of Creation, in each of us we are connected with the Whole, and once you get to certain awareness, you are the Whole.  Condemning any aspect of Creation and shutting oneself off from that by rejecting and judging it is akin to cutting our nose off to spite our face.  It is a way to continue the separation game that has gotten us into the mess of fighting and intolerance on this earth that so many of us are praying to mend.

 

With the recent election of an African American man to our nation’s highest office, I am hopeful that his gleaming light will give those who are in pain an opportunity to expose how they are using their pain to fuel hatred towards others.  This man is one who has experienced oppression, and who has beliefs that align with Christianity, but who is interested in accepting and hearing others’ viewpoints…he has not allowed his wounds to harden him and make him rigid….he has allowed the wounds to stay open, even touching them on occasion to remind him of what it feels like to be hurt by others intolerance.     

 

The founders of this country drew up a famous doctrine by which to guide the emergence of this amazing experiment called the United States of America. I keep a copy of it in my purse, believe it or not.  I identified with this document very early in my life when I wrote an essay on being an American…I found my innate yearning for acceptance and freedom to be reflected in its pages, the powerful words stirring my heart each time I read them.

 

In the end, the question arises…by the way we believe (which informs the way we behave), are we uniting or dividing?   Are you looking for the ways in which we are common in order to enjoy one another, or using the ways we are different as a case for your beliefs?  Are you furthering separation and pain, or are you reaching out with the intention to connect, accept, affirm and love others?

  

Are you a uniter or a divider?

 

Monterey is located on the Monterey Peninsula, about 2 hours south of San Francisco and two hours north of San Luis Obispo…it is the apparent dividing line between southern and northern California when looking at a map.  The Peninsula is not a pronounced one in the way that Florida is, for instance but is does noticeably protrude from the coastline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We have been here for more than a week…We have been staying at the Laguna Seca Raceway, which boasts a hilltop campground with an astounding view of the surrounding hills.  Salinas is just up the road about 10 miles, and the town of Monterey only 7 in the other direction.

 

Pete’s parents live here (lovely visiting with them) as well as his sister, her husband and two young daughters.  Jess and Aidan had a great time connecting with their little cousins…there was much tickling and playing going on!  This week we have played on the beach, enjoyed the Monterey Aquarium, and driven around the cute little towns here.  Much of the focus has been on spending time with Pete’s family.

 

While stationed here, I attended a 4 day retreat in San Mateo with Bruce Lipton (of Biology of Belief fame-I interviewed him on my radio show in September) and Rob Williams, the originator of the Pysch-K process, (of which I am now a practitioner).  It was a fantastic learning experience for me, confirming much of what I intuitively know about how energy works within the human body and experience, and how the body, mind and spirit interact. 

 

 

 

 

I made many friends, and felt as if I found some more of my “tribe” members.  Some of the attendees were from other countries, and many were from California.  The California folks were very excited to hear about my family’s journey to search for our new home and strongly advocated that we move to this state; many also had great things to say about San Luis Obispo.

 

We have all felt the strangest longing for SLO since we left it more than a week ago….it is surprising to me that we could feel such an affinity for a place so quickly!  We have yearned to go back south since the day we arrived here.  Now, over a week later, we seem to have adjusted to the very different vibration here, but all of us still want to go back south again.  Wow.  Maybe San Luis Obispo IS the place for us.

 

But we will not go south just yet, no matter how we pine away for it!  We are heading north into the Redwoods around the Santa Cruz area for a week and then back down to Monterey for thanksgiving with Peter’s family…and THEN we will look at heading south again to SLO.

 

A note to readers: I am just learning the blogging thing.  After many years of writing for my professional website, www.liciaberry.com, but not having a mechanism for readers to comment directly on my writing, I am find it a new foray into relationship to be open to receiving comments about what I write.  I actually like to get feedback from readers and to hear how something touches you in some way.  So I do invite you to comment here on our Berry Blog!

I personally felt like the Pacific NW was our final destination point, as I feel a strong draw to the culture there.  The big hitch with living in the Pacific NW is the weather….my boys are all sunshine folks, so that was a major stumbling block to seeing us there.  I could see me there just fine, but what about my sweet Berry peeps?

But in mid-September, as I was sitting in session with the Angelic folk one early morning, I was told to “expect a surprise in November.”  Ooooh, mysterious!  I asked some questions about it, trying to unwrap the package early, but no go….nothing was revealed to me at that time except that it was concerning something good for my whole family.

 

Well, I think we now know what that good surprise was.  San Luis Obispo.

 

We arrived here after a gorgeous trip up the coast from Los Angeles (wow, Ventura through Santa Barbara is stunning), and pulled into the El Chorro County Park, just on the north edge of town off of Hwy. 1.  We immediately felt so comfortable…the hills are here, and some trees, but it is not a choking feeling of claustrophobia….we can still see the sky as there is plenty of open space.  We met my dear friend Terry Musch, a soul brother that I reconnected with last year, downtown for a fantastic Thai dinner. We walked around town in the dark, not seeming to mind the drizzling rain that was coming down….we were exhausted from the day of travel, but something was holding us up as we gazed upon the downtown lights and felt the awesome energy of place.

 

The subsequent days were mostly spent driving around with Terry….you could never want a more fantastic tour guide!  Terry is such a generous soul, and genuinely wants to share the goodness he has found in SLO.  He connected us with a beautiful friend Lori Steed, who among other talents is a professional photographer.  It was Lori who organized and invited us to the election party in Avila Beach on Tuesday, November 4^th, a historic day which we will all remember in this family until we croak!

 

The more time we spent exploring the area and checking in with our feelings, the more we felt how comfortable we were in SLO.  It was as if there was a magic curtain around SLO, and every time we went out of the area to explore a little further out, we felt a pronounced feeling of being out of that yummy space.  We talked about our feelings a lot, both intentionally asking each other and just spontaneously blurting out how god it felt to be there.  Very telling! 

 

We remembered that in 1993 Peter and I came through SLO on a west coast tour, again looking for our next location (we were living in Tucson at the time).  I was 5 months pregnant with Jess, and we were taking our last hurrah trip before our lives would be changed forever by having a child.  We had the sense of itchy feet then, and were looking for what was next for us.  On that trip, we drove through SLO and stayed in the area overnight at a B&B, and I remember having the best afternoon nap of my life as the cool breeze blew in the windows.  We walked around downtown way back then and thought this would be a great place to live.  Another contender on that trip was Corvallis, Oregon…..but the west coast was not to be our home at that time.  We wound up moving to Asheville, North Carolina to open the door to some healing work with my family of origin.

 

Now, 15 years later……it was on Wednesday, waking up in a country I am proud to live in, that the Divine Comedians (another one of my names for the Angelic spectrum of consciousness) told us, “Look no further, you have found it”.

 

Well, we are very tempted to believe this pronouncement from the Keepers of the Cosmos…. It sure feels right to all four members of my family, and SLO offers everything we hoped for in the next location we would call home.  But we also know that calling something a done deal before it’s a done deal has not been very smart in this last year….as I have been told, 2008 has been a year of so many changeable factors, all the balls thrown into the air at once, and it has taken several months of the majority of them to come down.  Somehow, with the election, I feel the factors settling in, and the future looks a lot more certain.  Maybe when we get guidance now, it will stick.  As a channel, it has been frustrating to hear and feel and see that so much was up for grabs this year, and that when my ego wanted to have The Plan and chart a course, the response from the Larger Picture was frequently “there are too many unknowns at this time”.

 

I sense a larger cause if we do indeed call San Luis Obispo home….a time of healing and expansion for us and those we love.  I already feel myself changing to fit being the mythic Californian, a creator of dreams, an embodiment of happiness, and knowing that I am worthy of all the goodness the Omniverses have to offer.  The next step in our evolutionay process.  Oh, my….a large future awaits us should we claim this place.  Here’s a prediction: a greater radiance of Who We Are, us four Berrys, as a family and as individuals.  Stay posted!

 

Next we head north to Monterey to spend some time with Pete’s Mom and Dad and Sister and her family…. 

Well, okay, one thing that did hold up in terms of what I have heard about L.A. was the traffic…..driving the RV through with all of the fancy cars zipping in and out was so stressful for Peter (I was in the scout car ahead, walkie-talkie-ing directions and lane changes back to him).  The intensity really wore him down.  It just seemed that we kept driving and driving and driving through L.A., and I wondered when it would ever end.  I am told that the population is 23 million in the 100 square mile area around Los Angeles; I have never seen or felt such a populated and sprawling place in my life. 

 

 

If you have followed our story at all, you know that we listen to our inner guidance to determine where we are going and where to stay, etc.  This was a skill that we developed as a family during our last Big Trip that served us very well.  As a result of asking for input from the larger picture, God/Spirit/All of Creation, we have had the most magical adventures and met the most marvelous people. 

 

 

To navigate through the Los Angeles area, we were guided to stay “north and west” of L.A.  When I looked at the map, I asked about the places I saw there and got a “Yes” on Van Nuys area.…typically, I take the guidance I am given and search online or through other resources for RV parks in that area.  I found two, but one I got a clear “NO” on, and the other was just “Okay”.  We could find no other ideal RV park in the area, so we wound up at Walnut RV Park, where we are squished in like sardines, but it is very quiet and safe, and convenient to lots of amenities.

Our trip to the Getty Center was easy and wonderful…we got there early on Saturday and spent four hours enjoying the art, the architecture and the amazing space created there.  I found myself taking photos (which is allowed there, by the way!) of Madonna and Holy Family art…hmmmm, wonder why that is?   Of particular interest to me is a piece in which Mary is breastfeeding Jesus.

It is such a phenomenal gift to the world that this resource is being made available to the public, and free of charge.  Thank you, Getty Family!

 

My visit with Joan Norton was delightful…I am a little wary about the social network craze, having been burned pretty badly on FaceBook.  It is easy to think you know someone when you are only interfacing with the persona they present online…but it can be a very different story when you get under the surface of the mask.  Joan is one of those genuine gems that came across my path while I explored social media this last summer.  She is intelligent, insightful, and heartfelt in her understanding and communication about Mary Magdalene’s story, and the blessed union of the masculine and feminine.  I highly recommend her blog, Mary Magdalene Within.

 

As we neared our third day in the L.A. area, I noticed that my sweet Pete seemed tired and a little cranky….He is mostly a pretty energetic person, and hardly ever is he a grump, so this was unusual.  When I asked him what was going on for him, he said he thought his sensitivity to density had increased so much it was really getting to him to be in the population center that L.A. is.  It was literally sucking him dry, draining his batteries to be there.  This was interesting to me, as I have struggled with this problem for years, but have found some way to center and balance now so that I am not so affected by population density.  I actually remarked on how good I felt considering how much energy we were in the midst of.  The kids seemed pretty balanced, too.  We did all remark, though, that it did not feel like the right place for us to live.     

 

 

On our last night there, the kids practically kicked us out the RV door for another date night.  We are very blessed with children who truly value that Pete and I actively love each other and spend time working on our relationship.  The kids know that daddy and mommy time is super vital to the health of our family, so they understand and even encourage us to take time out for us.  Plus, that means they get to play their video games without interruption!  So Pete and I went out to a great little sushi place that was literally around the corner.

 

We sat at the sushi bar, our favorite place to enjoy the sushi experience, where I sat next to a perfectly pleasant fellow who was there on business.  As we got to chatting with him, he shared that he travels the world, teaching about how to do day trading on one’s own.  This sounded lovely and exiting…what a great career, empowering people to take their financial destiny into their own hands!  But as we talked, I felt the presence of something tightly wound in him, something that felt repressed, as if the surface did not match his insides.  I found out later that, as I left for the ladies’ room, Pete learned from this man that he used to be married.  From what he told Pete, he and his wife came to a place that she requested that he choose between his career and her due to his long periods of travel.  He told Pete that he loved his career more than his wife, and they are no longer married. 

 

 

This made me feel sad and also caused me to remember back in 2003 when we left Asheville for our first Big Trip….I couldn’t understand why so many of my then-women-friends seemed to be so mad at me, and did not say in touch with me when we left.  I did not find out until months later, when one of them shared reluctantly with me, that they were jealous that “your man chose you over his career”.  You might remember that Pete left his promising career with Toshiba in order to go on the road and do the work of reclaiming us, his family. Back then, I was stunned that a beloved partner would NOT choose his partner over his career, if for some reason it came down to that in their lives.  Apparently, I am one blessed woman to have a partner who values me and our love partnership over anything else in his life.

 

We left Los Angeles on Monday, November 3^rd and headed north to San Luis Obispo.  It was there, a mere five weeks into the journey, that we got the biggest surprise of our trip thus far…. 

 

 

 

 

 

We have had an eventful time since we left Tucson! 

 

The drive over to the Pacific was merciless as we did not make reservations (BIG NO-NO when you are driving something 35 feet long and weighing 20,000 pounds), so poor Pete was stuck behind Jude’s wheel for 400 miles until we found a place to stop for the night.  That wound up being Live Oak Springs, a lovely hideaway that has been owned by the same family for 25 years east of San Diego off I-8.  We collapsed, ordered in for pizza, and zoned out in front of the TV for the night.

 

But the following morning as we shook the trauma of the long previous day off, we had an utterly easy drive and got totally high on the Pacific air.  We cruised through San Diego with minimal stress, and headed north on I-5, the road that we think will be the back bone of our west coast trip.  We will deviate here and there, but will come back to I-5 like homing pigeons as we journey.

 

We ended on Monday, October 27 at San Clemente, a lovely little beach town.  We stayed at the San Clemente State Beach, which is a gorgeous park right on the cliffs with trails down to the beach.  It was a completely perfect orientation for our being on the Pacific coast….I found myself to be in a little shock, still getting used to the changes in elevation since we departed Colorado at over 8000 feet, but what was more intense for me was the change in density, the energy of so many people in a concentrated area.  While the drone of I-5 is constant and loud, the San Clemente area is a great place to get accustomed to the Southern California (So Cal) vibe because of the prolific buffer zone of Nature.

 

We came here as a destination because Peter made contact with an old high school friend from Flint School, a sailing school that cruised Europe in over the 1978-79 school year.  We won’t get into what a bizarre and unhealthy experience it was here, but suffice it to say that Peter has had some healing to do about it; part of his process was to reach out to others recently to hear what their experiences were.  A true gift for him has been to hear his own experience echoed and confirmed.  As our guidance supported us coming here, one of the absolute gems that he found in his search for friends from his past is Janet Harder, who now resides in the San Clemente area.  She welcomed us with open arms into her home despite not having seen Pete for 30 years, was the most excellent tour guide with suggestions about places to go, made us wonderful food, and even hooked us up with the gorgeous state park we stayed in.  She is a delight, and I am happy to say, a new friend for me as well!

 

 

 

 

 

 

While there, we visited the San Juan Capistrano Mission as part of home schooling to learn about California history.  The oldest building in California, this lovely mission did a great job of linking its long and many-chaptered history together and presenting it to visitors.  I recommend the audio tour that comes with your entrance ticket (thanks for the tip, Janet!).  Of interest to us was how the local Indians, the Acjachemen, assisted the Spanish in building the mission, being close friends and allies for many generations.  To this day, the mission has a special ceremony when a descendant of those Indians passes away. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pete and I even got a date night….we haven’t had one in ages, so it was extra special.  The boys are old enough now that leaving them by themselves for a couple of hours is not a problem…in fact, they are both babysitting age.  We went for a romantic, fog filled night to the Fisherman’s Restaurant on the pier.  We had a delicious dinner, but the view of the foggy evening over the water was unparalleled.

 

We made a reluctant departure from San Clemente on Halloween, and headed north to Los Angeles (L.A. on Halloween, you say?  That IS scary!)   Obviously, I had to overcome some fear when we were guided to come through here.  But it brought another level of understanding and comfort level about southern California.  Here I have had to confront my judgments about southern California and the people who live here….as usual, what I have found is that judgments are such generalizations, and that they should be challenged and violently broken…..they just aren’t true, and don’t hold up when you come with an open mind and open heart. 

 

Our adventures in Los Angeles tomorrow……

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am feeling led to write about partnership today…I like to start when I get these urges to examine a concept by defining the word as well as looking up its synonyms:

 Partnership-a cooperative relationship between people or groups who agree to share responsibility for achieving some specific goal. 

Syn. alliance, collaboration, companionship, relationship

 Ah, yes….this is what we are striving for in our family. 

We used to fit more under the usual model of family-raising, which can range from dictatorship to benevolent neglect, with lots of stops in between. Parenting is a hot issue, one that many disagree on and seem to feel it is their God-Given right to do as they please with their children.  Who am I to say that is not true?  But we are led to parent differently.

Years before I ever had children, I truly wasn’t sure I wanted to have any.  My family upbringing did not inspire much confidence in furthering my genes in the world, but more than that, I felt like “damaged goods” due to childhood abuses, and I truly did not want to pass that illness on to anyone else.  When Peter and I met, our mutual love and respect for one another began a healing process….within two years of being with him, I was ready to acknowledge (and tackle) my unhealed wounds reclaim my joy for life.  But what I was interested to note was that my primary drive to endure years of therapy and excruciating emotional pain was to be a conscious mother to my someday children.  I would not have children until 7 years after Peter and I met.

Our goal when Jess first arrived into our lives one magical full moon night was that we would do no harm to our children.  As a teacher, I had seen first hand (and still believe) that children are not an empty vessel that it is our sacred duty to fill up, or “wild animals” that we must tame….on the contrary, children come with much insight and knowing that, if we will but listen, benefits us as adults greatly.  There in that tiny baby is personality, there are innate preferences, there is soul.  When I gazed into infant Jess’ eyes, there was no question that there was a very old and wise Being looking lovingly back at me.  But does that mean that we do nothing and worship at the feet of our children, never saying the word “no” and never giving them boundaries?  I feel that is as out of balance as the “empty vessel” scenario. 

 I have observed that it is a partnership between those adult custodians of the physical world and the children who come into it.  It is our sacred task to inform and guide them about navigating through the physical world they have newly come into, without instilling to much fear or limiting beliefs, but being realistic with them, too about life in the 3^rd dimension.  Their part of the partnership is to remind us of the Source we came from, to inspire us to re-connect with our joy and playful nature, and to bring the wisdom of grace into our lives, if we will but let it in. 

 As our children have gotten older, we have evolved quite a bit as a family.  Where I felt very protective as a mother of young children, I now have teen and pre-teen boys, who are making their bold foray into independence and making many decisions on their own.  I feel led to honor this transition by stepping back, giving them room. 

 

 

Jess is now almost 15, and he is technically a man.  When I look at him, I marvel that I ever held him in my arms as an almost 10 pound baby!  Peter and I are around for him to assist with decisions that he feels he needs help on, and we do step in if we see him making a choice that could be harmful….but he has an internal sense of structure and balance that seems to guide him.        

Aidan is 11, and a very special and sensitive soul…..he is so empathic and feels the world acutely, the unspoken feelings of others come through him like he is a TV channel.  The physical world has been a confusing and tough place for him at times.  He is still needing more guidance, and he has not yet found his internal sense of balance.  In the stead of an internal one, we must try to provide an outer structure to help him until he finds his internal core of balance. 

My goal as a parent to stay acutely aware of where our kids are and what they need in a given moment, and to provide it in the most loving way I can.  But just as important, we feel that the boys have much wisdom to offer us as partners in our family.

Some may feel that using a partnership model to describe a family dynamic is a little strange….well, it certainly is different than what most folks do in their families!  Honoring and respecting all parties in the family as one would in a business partnership, for example, is a bit of a new concept.  But it is what works for us. 

Going back to the definition of partnership, I see that it implies there is a “specific goal” or intention in the partnership, the purpose of getting together in the first place.  Well, I am one who feels that there is a much larger picture going one, that it is no accident that these two marvelous beings came to me and Peter.  Do we choose our parents from on high?  Aidan told me when he was three that he remembered choosing me because of my smile.  When I was pregnant with Jess, I dreamed about him as he is now, conversing with me about his name.  I am one who knows there is much more to life than what we see here in the physical world, and if my life experience shows me anything, these children who come in now-adays have got a goal in mind.

Perhaps it is in raising consciousness or maybe even saving the human race from extinction….I can’t say for sure.  But I do know that Creation does not make mistakes….if I want to do my part in honoring and respecting All of Creation, I’d be wise to honor and respect my children, and the part of Creation they represent.  I’d be wise to look with fresh eyes at them every day, seeing what they are offering to me and to the world, and not try to cram them into a pre-conceived box labeled “Who I want my kids to be”. 

I take parenting very seriously…..obviously, I think about it a lot.  Partly informed by the parenting I encountered in my birth family, but even more by what feels like a Soul-charge, like what I came here to do.  I can think of nothing more holy than that I offer these precious ones up to the world after having done the best I could do as their mother. 

What I am noticing as we travel for our second journey in our family saga is that these amazing people who happen to be my children are standing up and taking their roles as partners the more we allow them to do so, by making room in our decision making and by accepting them for who they are.  It is a marvelous gift to be taught by them, and to feel them growing into such wonderful men and partners in humankind.